


And I Thought, Today Has Been Okay

by redFreckles



Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: M/M, Neil's Terrible Sense of What's 'Fine', Past Child Abuse, The Rest of The Foxes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 08:33:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8005861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redFreckles/pseuds/redFreckles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You're fine." Ben (Neil, he was Neil now), mumbles to himself later, a hollow stare to the night sky and a binder full of contacts and cash, "It could be worse." Because it could be, it could be. </p><p>	He was breathing. He was okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And I Thought, Today Has Been Okay

**Author's Note:**

> I've seen hc's floating around about Mary's influence on Neil 'I'm fine it's just a bullet in my spleen' Josten and figured I'd give my two cents  
> (Title from Today Has Been Okay by Emiliana Torrini)
> 
> Warnings for implied child abuse and vague descriptions of injuries

The pavement went in and out in blurry vision as Chris, ( _Alex_ , his name was Alex now) sat on the curb trying to catch his breath and will the blood seeping out of a freshly made knife wound back into his body. C- _Alex_ shudders as nausea and dizziness overcome his being. He wraps his arms tightly around his stomach, putting pressure on the injury while keeping his head between his knees to prevent himself from vomiting.

A thin but bruising hand on his shoulder makes him jerk his head up to meet his mother's eyes. Another wave of nausea strikes him and his head drops again. The grip on his shoulder tightens and Alex forces himself not to gasp.

"What do you think you are dong Alex?" His mother's words sound quiet and concerned to anyone who passes by but Alex can hear the underlining anger and the threat that lingers. "Are you alright?"

His mother leans in close like a mother would do to check a child's injuries, but the voice whispering harshly in his ear is on the edge of violence. _"Stand up. You're creating a scene."_

Alex tries hard not to shudder at the thought of standing up. "Mom-" Alex chokes out, before another hand grabs his arm and he nearly can't keep the yelp down as her hand squeezes another one of his wounds.

" **No.** You are fine Alex, look at me, _look at me_. I have a bullet wound in my stomach and I can walk just fine. You are going to stand up, and we are going to get into the car, and you will not disobey me again. Understood?"

There was no room for argument. Alex nodded.

"Good. Now what do you say when I ask you if you're alright?"

Alex gritted his teeth and stood up despite the blood he can feel run down his abdomen.

"I'm fine." He says in an almost steady voice, loud enough for nosy bystanders to hear. "It could have been worse."

"Yes," His mother says, mostly to herself as she strokes the side of his face protectively, "It could have been worse."

 -----------------------------------------------------------

It was a bullet to the side. A knife in his chest. It was his mother's fingertips bruised into his arms, yelling at him _to run_ , to keep going, that he was okay as long as he could still breathe. He was fine, _he was fine._ He burned his mother's body with cold blood in his veins and dry eyes. He buried his mother's ashes under piles of burner phones and loose sand.

"You're fine." Ben (Neil, he was Neil now), mumbles to himself later, a hollow stare to the night sky and a binder full of contacts and cash, "It could be worse." _Because it could be_ , it could be.

He was breathing. He was okay.

\----------------------------------------------------------- 

"You are not fine." Wymack says, under cursed breath and a bottle of whiskey.

"You are not fine." Matt says, disbelief in his eyes and horror in his stare.

"You are not fine." Allison says, a scoff in her voice and an annoyed perk of her lips.

"You are not fine." Dan says, in exasperation and doubt.

"You are not fine." Kevin says, anger dashing each word and pain in his hand.

"You are not fine." Renee says, but only with her eyes and a sad knowing smile.

"You are not fine." Nicky says, with a slight laugh in his voice but concern on his face.

"You are not fine." Aaron says, irritated and mocking.

"You are not fine." Andrew says, a phone in his hand and a promise on his lips.

\----------------------------------------------------------- 

"I'm fine." Neil says automatically, and immediately winces at the glares he receives.

"My ribs are a bit sore but they're not that bad. Really." Neil rushes to say before Kevin attempts to murder him along side the rest of his friends. The glares lessen in intensity but still remain.

"You're going to Abby's come on." Dan says with a wave of her hand.

Neil stares at her confused. "But I just told you they aren't that bad."

Nicky snorts,"Yeah, and that's basically Neil speak for broken bones."

"It's really not that big of a-" He tries, before he feels a tug on his sleeve and looks over to meet Andrew's bored eyes.

"Go get checked out before you say something that'll make me want to kill you." Andrew's voice is void of emotion but his grip on Neil's sleeve tightens ever so slightly. "The court will still be here when you get back, junkie."

Something loosens inside Neil and he sighs annoyed. "Fine, alright." And let's Dan drag him out, ignoring the knowing looks and money that's passed to Allison.

\----------------------------------------------------------- 

"I'm fine." Neil says, laying down on the couch, head a half inch from where Andrew's thigh is. Neil feels a sting on his forehead and opens his eyes to glare at Andrew who still hasn't looked away from his book.

"Hey! I was being serious."

"You were being stupid." Andrew flips a page.

Neil scowls, "I mean it though." Neil sits up and turns to face Andrew. He reaches for the book slowly and careful not to touch his hands. Andrew raise a brow at him but allows Neil to take it.

"I'm okay. I think," Neil takes a shallow breath, "I think I'm more than okay."

Andrew stares at him blankly for a long moment before sighing and grabbing his book from Neil's hands. "Like I said, stupid."

For a second Neil thinks that's the end of that but Andrew sets the book aside on a nearby table.

"Yes or no?"

"Yes." Neil breathes.

Andrew cups his face in his hands, " I hate you."

Neil smiles, "I know."

Andrew's eyes soften for just a moment before he growls, "Idiot." And presses his lips against Neil's.

Something blossoms in Neil's chest. It feels surprisingly a lot like happiness.

 _I'm fine. I'm better than fine_. And for once it rang true.

 


End file.
